People with dietary habits outside the mainstream may find that although conventional wisdom posits “opposites attract” in relationships, when it comes to food and romance, “opposites repel” may be more accurate. In fact, talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw’s most frequently doled out piece of advice (“Get real!”) may be spot-on when it comes to romantic partners with different food preferences who are wondering if their union has a shot at enduring.

Food and love are linked subconsciously in the minds of most people, according to Kathryn Zerbe, a psychiatrist at Oregon Health and Science University in Portland. That is why refusing to eat (or berating) food consumed or prepared by one’s partner can be particularly devastating.

Because eating a meal together has long been one of the most common rituals of dating and courtship, it’s no surprise that varied food preferences often crop up early. Although coping with one person’s just plain quirky eating habits can be challenging, couples’ differences tend to be divided into two distinct categories — those based on ideology and those that are related to health or religious issues.

In either case, discerning the dietary preference of a potential life partner before time (and money) is expended dating may be the best option for some people.

As one blogger wrote, “Back when I was dating, if I found out a person was a vegetarian/vegan (through conversation at a party or from friends), I wouldn’t even bother asking them out — too different of a lifestyle from mine, it would only have caused issues.”

On the other hand, vegetarians often do not date people who eat meat, with some claiming meat eaters “smell bad and have low energy.”

Regardless of the particular preferences a person holds dear, inflexibility when it comes to food choices may prove to be the real deal breaker.

“A guy so rigid about his food is rigid about life in general ... somebody close-minded about food is close-minded about other thing,” explains another blogger, who went on to note that her parents had drastically different food habits and were married for many years.

The book “Your Diet Is Driving Me Crazy: When Food Conflicts Get in the Way of Your Love Life” by Cynthia Sass and Denise Maher explores relationship-driven food conflicts and offers strategies for resolving them. Web sites and food blogs such as chowhound.com and slashfood.com offer a wealth of content on the subject, primarily from bloggers, but much of it is anecdotal and light on constructive solutions.

Have you dated or married someone with food preferences different from yours? How did it work out?